Grant's Gardening Tips

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There were definitely other passengers on the bus before you nodded off, but now it’s just you and the driver, an elderly woman whose face is a labyrinth of sun-bronzed wrinkles and laugh lines. She smiles warmly at you as you swing your bag over your shoulder and disembark. You want to thank her, but realize that you don’t know her name. She did tell you earlier… "Thank you..." [[Ethel?->NO!]] [[Edie?->NO!]]

Oh no! <<audio punch play>> She gives you a big SMACK--with her fist. "[[It's Bowser Jr. you fool!->ow!]]"

Your stomach flutters with nerves as you stand alone at the bus stop. An entire summer spent in some town you’ve never heard of, tending to plants for someone you’ve never actually met. That elusive professor dude seemed like a perfectly nice person over the phone, but leaving their Entire Greenhouse in your care while they go on vacation, trusting you not to screw anything up? That’s a tall order! You sigh, and [[look around.->Surroundings]]

The bus stop is just a bench and a lamp post, with a path carved into the dirt leading to the nearby town. A sign stands at the start of the path. Do you.. [[Check out the sign->Sign]]? [[Walk down the path->forgetthatsign]]? [[...Stay?]]

The sign’s weathered, has certainly seen better days, but its words are still fully legible. In fact, it appears that someone has been dutifully applying new coats of paint to the letters. The sign reads: “Welcome to <<textbox "$townname" "">>, where the grass is always greener.” [[Walk down the path->Onward!]]

You walk up the road to head into town. The road leads to the town square, a collection of buildings arranged in a loose square with a courtyard in the center. The town’s occupants mill around, attending to their daily tasks. It’s pretty small, but quaint. Everyone seems pretty happy. Before you can get a good look at anything, a man runs up to you. Out of breath, he takes a moment to calm, bent over with his hands on his knees. "[[Uh...hi?->HE IS HERE]]"

<<audio main stop>> <<audio GRANT play>> "Hey there!" His head pops up rather suddenly, all traces of exhaustion gone. "Welcome to $townname. You’re the new kid who’s gonna be working in $sciencename’s greenhouse while they’re on vacation, right? [[Remind me of your name?->Name?]]

The man smiles and shakes your hand. "Nice to meet you, $name. I’m Grant. I run the town general store and help Mr. Everett take care of the plants. They told me you were coming and asked me to show you around. Let’s show you that greenhouse then, shall we?" You smile. This guy's pretty cool. "[[Let's go!->Two Houses]]"

Grant leads you over to a small building with a bright blue roof. A large mailbox stands just outside the door. This is the Post Office. It’s open pretty much all day, so if you ever want to send [[letters]] back home, feel free. And don’t mind Mabel. She’ll mail your letter for you, no problem, but in return she’ll likely make you listen to one her stories from her younger years. [[*He winks*->Wink]] You ever want to kill an entire afternoon, ask her about the war. Don’t even have to specify which one—she’ll talk your ear off anyway. [[Good thing you like history, huh?->Town Center]]

Next, you stand outside a wide, two-story building. From inside., you hear the sounds of laughing, talking, and genneral merriment. "Next up is the best (and only) bar in town, the Green Thumb. Jo mixes a mean drink, and can whip up pretty much anything you want so long as you know what’s in it. Be careful, though; don’t want you getting drunk while you’re supposed to be working!" [[First step is admitting you have a problem->Town Center]]

The building at the north end of town is the biggest of the lot, very official looking, with a domed ceiling and everything. "Then we have the Town Hall. Mayor Daniels hosts the occasional meeting here, and there’s the bulletin board outside to keep you updated on the goings-on. Make sure you check it often so you stay in the loop!" [[Meetings? This was supposed to be a fun job!->Town Center]]

Next up is a sturdy-looking building with a green roof. Th exterior prcatically gleams--it seems like someone cleans it pretty regularly. "Last, but not least, we have the store, run by yours truly. I sell everything you need, and plenty you don’t. Stop by any time you’re running low on something for the greenhouse…or, you know, if you just wanna chat. My door’s always open, and it gets might boring sometimes just standing at the counter waiting for customers. I’d appreciate some good conversation to pass the time." [[Cool cool not right now tho->Town Center]].

Grant leads you down a road leading away from the town. You walk past grassy fields, the grass swaying in the breeze. Birds and various insects chirp, buzz, and otherwise greet each other. Finally, you see a large greenhouse, [[glass panes glittering in the sun.]]

<<audio HELL stop>> <<audio GRANT play>> Grant doesn't elaborate any further. With a cheery wave, he leaves, heading back to town. Now it's just you, your new home for the summer, and the plants that will now live and die by your hand. [[No pressure.->Greenhouse]]

You extend your hand. "My name is <<textbox "$name" "">>, [[nice to meet you.->IDK]]"

[[Wink Wonk ;)->Post Office]]

The road leads to the town square, a collection of buildings arranged in a loose square with a courtyard in the center. The town’s occupants mill around, attending to their daily tasks. It’s pretty small, but quaint. Everyone seems pretty happy. To the left (to the left) is the[[Post Office.->Post Office]] Straight ahead is the [[Bar.->Bar]] To the north, in the very center, is the [[Town Hall.->Town Hall]] Further down is the [[General Store.->General Store]] Whenever you're done with that... Grant looks out onto this humble establishment."Alright, that's the town! You’re probably eager to see where you’ll be working, right? I won’t make you wait any longer. [[Let’s get to where you'll be working.->Two Houses]]"

[[z->..]] <<set $sciencename to "Mr. Everett">>

<<audio main play>> Slowly, you blink awake, stretching out a crick in your neck as you sit up in your seat on the bus. You’re not sure exactly when you fell asleep, or how long it’s been, but [[the bus has come to a halt.->Bus Driver]]

[[zz->...]]

[[zzz->Wake]]

[["Wake me up?"->Bus]] <<audio bus play>>

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio HELL play>> <<script>> Dialog.setup("GRANT'S GARDENING TIP #1"); Dialog.wiki("A common complaint of many gardeners is crops going missing in the dead of night. This is likely due to Jimbo Johanssen, the crop thief. The recommended course of action is to smear your crops with soap. Do it. I dare you."); Dialog.open(); <</script>> [[Um...what?->Good luck]]

Grant brings you to the house's front door. "Well, this is it. $sciencename left me a spare set of keys to the place for you. I’ve got them here somewhere…" He hands over the [[keys.->trans]]

Aside from the slightly grime-covered windowpanes, the greenhouse seems exceedingly lovely.

One building is a [[house->false house intro]] of modest size. The other is a large [[greenhouse->false greenhouse intro]], glass panes glittering in the sun.

You already have an alotted PO box :) [[It's empty->Post Office]]

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/bg_greenhouse.png" alt="The interior of the greenhouse." class="center"/> </div> <<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio greenhouse play>> You walk inside the exceedingly lovely greenhouse. Plants hang above your head, and succulents of many kinds crowd the tables in rows along the walls. The glass is a little grimy, but lets all the sunshine in. Most of these plants are labelled with small yellow tags, indicating that you MUST NOT touch these. They don't need much care, apparently? In the center of the space you see the small group of specimens that you will guard with your life. But you don't see any note... Maybe you have to [[investigate further.->Inside the Greenhouse]]

You notice a Venus flytrap sort of tucked away in a corner, almost like it was specifically set apart from the other flowers. Its “mouth” hangs open, but it’s sagging in its pot. It seems like it could use some care. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymore_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> You should [[probably investigate further.]]

"Hey, you're gonna water someone, start over here!" <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[The sudden yell makes you jump, spilling a fair amount of water from the can.->shit!]]

Looking at the various plants, your eye gets immediately drawn to a plant with lovely pink flowers. It’s label says with the word “Oleander” written underneath -- that ought to be simple enough to look after. [[You think?]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

The Mimosa Pudica seems to be looking rather sad. Maybe it needs [[new soil?->spook]] Some of the [[dried leaves removed?->spook]] Or maybe you should just [[investigate further->spook]]. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

But she does so good-naturedly...? She wishes you good luck and drives off, the bus puttering off to parts unknown. Just like that, you’re [[on your own.->Alone]]

Where did it come from? Did Grant sneak in while you weren't looking? [[Look around]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

You turn every which way, but you don't see Grant. You don't see anyone who could've spoken. Maybe you imagined it? [[“Listen, pal, we don't have all day. I'm drying out over here!”->What??]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

The same voice calls out again, and now you're pretty sure that it's coming from the table in front of you. But there's nothing there but plants. And plants can't talk… <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[Approach the table]] [[Go back to the others->Find Cactus Tip]]

You walk up to the table, watering can at the ready to water or defend yourself as needed. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[Say hello]] [[Stay silent]]

Which plant do you investigate? <<set $seymoreDone to false>> <<set $cactusDone to false>> <<set $oleanderDone to false>> <<set $mimosaDone to false>> <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/All_the_plants.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The flytrap-looking one: [[Dionaea muscipula->Seymore]] The healthy looking cactus: [[Opuntia aciculata->Cactus]] The bright bush with pink flowers: [[Nerium oleander->Oleander]] The small, almost twig/fern-like one: [[Mimosa pudica->Mimosa]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/All_the_plants.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

“Hello?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> "[[Hi. Hello. Cal, over here. What's up. Good, now we know each other. So you can get to the watering any time you want.->the Voice]]"

You wait for the mystery speaker to make its next move. You don't have to wait long. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[“So you're really just gonna stand there holding that watering can, that can full of water specifically for watering plants, a.k.a. me, and not water any plants? No, yeah, that totally makes sense.”->the Voice]]

[[The voice comes from your left. You look that way, and see one of the plants wiggling in its pot.->he]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_fite.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

It's a cactus, green and spiny, festooned with bright pink flowers. You're really gonna have to wrap your head around the idea that the cactus might be talking to you. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[Approach the cactus]] [[Weird! Nevermind this!->Find Cactus Tip]]

<<set $townname to "Shellville">> You decide to stay put, uncertain of your new surroundings. . .. ... Which eventually gets rather boring. You should probably [[walk down the path->Onward!]].

You lean down to come face to...face? Face to prickly pad? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_fite.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> You're on its level, anyway. [[As you stare at it, it wiggles again.->woder?]]

Do you.. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_fite.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[Water the cactus]]? [[Sass the cactus]]?

“Right, I guess I should do my job.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> You raise the watering can, and [[tilt it toward the cactus.->hey!]]

“You… are a plant. A plant that's stuck in a pot. Probably not a good idea to be rude to the person keeping you alive.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The cactus writhes angrily. Two of its leaves curl and push out almost like fists put up in a boxing match. “Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh? All right, my dude. That's fine. You know what, don't water me. I don't even need it. Desert plants - best plants!” You've had about enough of this stupid cactus. Might be best to let it cool off for a bit…and to be honest, you need to clear your head too. Best to [[Return to your gardening]].

<<audio punch play>> It recoils dramatically… at least, as far away as it can go while stuck in that pot. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “Woah, watch the flowers, buddy! They're delicate, you hear me? DEL-I-CATE!" It swings its arms as brashly as a middleweight fighter.... "You bruise these with those big, clumsy hands of yours, and we're gonna fight! Don't test me; [[I train daily!]]"

<<audio punch play>> You notice a punching bag hanging next to the table. Huh. How'd you miss that before? The bag is standard-human size, far too big for a tiny cactus. Even so, there are clusters of holes poked in the lower half of the bag… Holes just about big enough to match the cactus’ needles. Training, huh? [[It might actually be telling the truth.]]

Moving more gingerly this time, you water the cactus. As the water hits it, it shakes in what you hope is an appreciative way. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “Aw yeah, that's the stuff. You can stop now, though - we desert plants don't need that much water. And hey, next time, if you're feeling nice, I'd appreciate a back rub. These needles get awfully itchy sometimes.” Well that was…fun. You should probably get back to the rest of your gardening now, though… [[Return to your duties]]

As you walk out, the cactus calls out after you. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_fite.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[“Thanks, broski!”->Grant Cactus Tip]]

[[Yes->Next]] [[No!->Inside the Greenhouse]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

As you walk up, you think you hear… humming…? Or is that…[[actual singing??]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

[[“Ring around the ro-o-o-sies,]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

"[[Pocket full of po-o-o-sies…]]" <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

"[[Oh, well, hello sweetie.]]" <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

The flowered plant seems have noticed your presence. And was.. [[Actively flirting with you?]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You don’t quite know what to make of it, but find yourself flustered and.. blushing. “Oh honey, catnip got your tongue?” The flowers sway with a smooth laugh. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to take you by surprise. But don’t just stand there sweetpea, come introduce yourself.” It extends one of its branches. Do you [[give it a handshake]], [[give the end of the branch a polite kiss]], or [[refuse]]?

As you walk out, the cactus calls after you. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_fite.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “Yeah, you better run, bub! Next time you come in here, you better give me a back rub to apologize!” You shake your head and [[return to the greenhouse.->Grant Cactus Tip]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> You let out a long sigh as you close the greenhouse door. You’ve been at this job for less than a day, and already it’s overwhelming. Talking plants? Why did no one think to warn you about that? They just expect you to take care of these plants like normal? [[That’s crazy.->G.Cactus.1]]

<<audio GRANT play>> You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps. You look up to see Grant walking toward you, a genial smile on his face. He offers you a wave. “Hey there! Thought I’d check in, see how it’s going.” You look at him, a thousand questions racing through your mind. [[“Well, actually, it’s a little--”->G.Cactus.2]]

“That’s great!” Grant cuts you off, his smile growing, though it doesn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. “So I see you’ve met Cal, our fine cactus. I’ve got a [[tip->G.Cactus.3.TIP]] I think might help you out with them.”

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio HELL play>> <<script>> Dialog.setup("GRANT'S GARDENING TIP #2"); Dialog.wiki("Plants love to feel pretty. Dress them up nicely and they'll be sure to thank you for it!"); Dialog.open(); <</script>> [[Umm.. okay.->G.Cactus.4]]

<<audio HELL stop>> <<audio GRANT play>> You stare at Grant. On the one hand, it’s reassuring to know that he’s familiar with these plants and knows how to care for them. On the other hand, why is he acting like sentient plants are a normal, everyday thing? [[Who even is he?->G.Cactus.5]]

You open your mouth to start bombarding him with questions, but he’s already turning away. “Well, gotta get back to the store. Plenty of customers to make happy!” Grant winks, then walks away. Once again, you’re left with the plants, just as confused as before. Guess you should probably [[head back inside->greenhouse.UsedCactus]].

<<set $cactusDone to true>> <<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio greenhouse play>> Which plant do you investigate? <<if $seymoreDone is false>>The flytrap-looking one: [[Dionaea muscipula->Seymore]] <<else>>The ever-freakish flytrap named Seymore: [[Dionaea muscipula->SeymoreSecondMeeting]] <</if>> The ever-odd cactus named Cal: [[Opuntia aciculata->CactusSecondMeeting]] <<if $oleanderDone is false>>The bright bush with pink flowers: [[Nerium oleander->Oleander]] <<else>>The ever-flirty Oleander: [[Nerium oleander->OleanderSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $mimosaDone is false>>The small, almost twig/fern-like one: [[Mimosa pudica->Mimosa]] <<else>>The ever-emotional Mimosa: [[Mimosa pudica->MimosaSecondMeeting]] <</if>>

You step back towards the cactus, steeling yourself against Cal’s abrasiveness. You’re not in the mood to get yelled at again, but dang it, you are not going to let a potted plant intimidate you. For the next few months, this is your greenhouse. [[Cal is just gonna have to get used to that.]]

"Ashes, ashes, [[we all fall--]]" <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

You reach forward and daintily shake the branch. “So gentle for such fine hands. Very polite. I like that in a caretaker. Fortunately we’ll certainly have plenty of time to.. [[get to know each other.]]” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

Given the tone of the whole situation, kissing the leaves as you would a lady’s hand seems the most appropriate response. As you lean in, the oleander pulls its [[branch away.]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

You firmly stand your ground and don’t come any further. “I- I’m not here to talk. I’m only here to find out how to take care of you.” The oleander sighs. “Such a shame. I was very much looking forward to getting to know you better.” Did.. did it just give you a quick [[once-over]]? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

“Very much.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> [[Apparently so.]]

It leans back against its pot. “But if you want to treat me nice, I can tell you that a little bit of arsenic in the soil would be.. “ -- it shivers with pleasure -- “much appreciated.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You’re suddenly very awake and very glad you did not step any closer. “Wait-- [[arsenic]]???”

You bolt upright, confused. “Wait -- arsenic??” The oleander seems to take pleasure in your fear of the chemical. “What, you don’t like a little danger?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> Do you [[walk away]], [[get angry at their apparent lack of care for your wellbeing]], or [[flirt right back]]?

You don’t know what to make of this shrub. First they flirt you up, only to ask you to give yourself arsenic poisoning for their [[sheer pleasure.]] Plus. It’s a freaking [[PLANT]].

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> Taken aback, you feel yourself snap. “I’m not risking arsenic poisoning for your freakish pleasure, [[you sick fudge.]]”

You step a little closer, a grin spread across your face. This is nothing more than a little greenery. You are in control. You can beat it at its game. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> “Don’t get me wrong, danger is no problem. However, I don’t plan on killing myself anytime soon.” You stroke one of its flowers fondly. “[[We’ve only just met.]]”

[[Kinky.->walk away]]

Unable to process this, you turn on your heel. The oleander calls after you. “Going so soon? Alright honeydew, I’ll be seeing you around.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_3.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You shake your head and carry on. About time to get back to your [[gardenly duties.->Grant Oleander Tip]]

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> The plant throws itself back in laughter. “You don’t have to have some, silly. There are arsenic pellets in the box underneath me. Simply put on some gloves and plant them under my soil -- I’ll break them myself with my roots, and absorb the arsenic [[before it vaporizes.]]”

You still look a bit suspicious. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> “If you’re gonna be caring for me sweetie, you’re gonna have to get your hands dirty.” You don’t know how, but you think the plant just.. [[winked]].

That’s it. Too much. Unable to process this, you turn on your heel. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> The oleander calls after you. “Going so soon? Alright honeydew, I’ll see you around.” You shake your head and carry on. It’s about time you got back to your [[gardenly duties->Grant Oleander Tip]] anyway.

The oleander chuckles in amusement. “Don’t you worry love. They’re just pellets. Simply place them in my soil, and I’ll take care of the rest.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> Not bad. You smile. “Alright, if you say so.” That seems like enough information for the moment. You start to walk off. If you’re gonna play this right, you’ve got to [[leave a tease]].

The oleander calls after you. “Leaving so soon?” You turn back momentarily. “I’ve got other plants to attend to too, love.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You hear the smile in its voice. “Don’t make me jealous.” You turn your back and continue back to your [[gardenly duties.->Grant Oleander Tip]] “No promises.”

“So forward -- we’ve only just met!” The plant giggles -- despite the retreat, it clearly enjoyed your attempt. “But don’t you worry. There’ll be plenty of time to.. get to know each other.” Its voice drips with sensual overtones. “Especially when handling my [[arsenic]].” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

The plant starts to pull away. You shake your head - this is just a plant, get a hold of yourself, dammit! “Excuse me, but as the caretaker I’d like to know how to.. er.. take care of you.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> [[Smooth. Real smooth.]]

The oleander seems amused by your comment. “So they do speak. And so straight forward too.” You can hear a sly smirk. “If you really wanna treat me nice, a little [[arsenic]] in the soil would feel-” the plant shivers pleasantly - “so nice.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

Cal spots you coming and wiggles. You can’t tell if it’s a good wiggle or a bad wiggle. Is there a difference? You’re still pondering this as Cal calls out to you. “Hey bub.” Well, not as bad a greeting as it could be. Might as well get to work. Do you.. [[Give Cal a back rub]]? [[Play dress up]]?

You’re not really sure how to do this. There’s no way you’re reaching in there with your bare hand. Sure, acupuncture is supposed to have all sorts of health benefits, but you don’t need first hand experience. [[You take a look around.]]

Yeah, you’re not giving a back run to something that can jab you with needles faster than you can say “Please don’t jab with me with needles.” Besides, why would you listen to a talking plant when Grant, an actual person with experience in this area, gave you great advice for free? You searched the house for anything you could use to dress Cal up, and found a few bows that might look good. A couple even match Cal’s flowers. The little nuisance can surely [[appreciate that.]]

You search the greenhouse. Surely, if Cal likes back rubs, $sciencename would’ve thought of some way safely administer them. The greenhouse is full of various bits and bobs. You push aside a hose, a big bag of mulch and...is that a flamethrower? Behind all that, you see something hanging on a wall: a back-scratcher! Success! Grabbing the back-scratcher, you return to Cal. Now the question is, which side is their [[back?]]

As if they read your thoughts, Cal twists in their pot, presenting you with one side of their leaves. Gingerly, you reach in with the back-scratcher and begin to scratch, doing your best to avoid the needles. Is...is this working? “Oooh, that’s nice.” Cal sighs with contentment. “You’re good with those hands, friend. You know how to treat a plant right.” Well, this is pretty weird, but at least Cal seems to be less feisty right now. Gotta take the little victories where you can get them, [[right?]]

Suddenly, Cal begins to wiggle again, but violently this time, the whole pot vibrating. You jerk away, desperate not to get skewered by swiftly moving needles, and you watch in shock as Cal begins to grow. They’re growing fast--[[too fast!]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> Cal keeps growing, quickly getting too big to be contained by their pot. They burst from their pot with a loud shattering of clay, shards of the pot and clumps of dirt flying every which way. As they grows, they begin to change shape. They’re definitely still a cactus, needles and flowers and all, but now they’ve got [[a more familiar shape.]]

<<audio main play>> They almost look...human. You stare at Cal’s new form, trying to get your brain to accept the sight of a cactus with arms and legs. It makes no sense. It’s ridiculous. Cal is a plant! They can’t be human. They can’t be… <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/cal_human.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[Kinda hot?->Chapter One End]]

<<audio HELL stop>> End of Chapter One.

Armed with your bows, you approach the cactus. Cal waves a leaf in greeting. “Hey amigo. Whatcha got there?” “Just some accessories I thought you might like.” Moving carefully, you attach the bows to Cal with small pieces of tape. You’re no fashion designer, but standing back to admire your handiwork, you think Cal looks pretty dang cute...as cute as cacti can look, anyway. [[“So, what do you think?”]]

Cal sits there for a moment, motionless. “Gee, comrade, I don’t know. I feel a little...a little strange.” As Cal speaks, the plant’s voice suddenly deepens, and they begin twitching. Their movements are jerky, nothing like the smooth wiggling they were doing before. Is something wrong? How do you diagnose a twitchy plant? Is there a [[specific procedure for this?]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> Suddenly, Cal begins to grow alarmingly fast. Their leaves expand, the needles growing along with them. They burst from their pot, clay shards and dirt flying everywhere. They’re the size of your head, then the size of your entire body. They won’t stop! You back away as Cal continues to grow, a misshapen mass of leaves with needles long as swords. Slowly, the growth comes to a halt, and Cal sits there, looming over everything in the greenhouse, including you. Do you.. [[Say something]]? [[Run for it]]?

<<audio HELL play>> “Um...Cal? You okay?” As soon as you speak, Cal lurches toward you, forcing you to scramble back before you get impaled. “Am I okay?!” Cal’s voice is a roar, much deeper and angrier than they were as a nice little cactus. “No, I’m not okay! I’m fantastic! Do you have any idea what it’s like being stuck in a tiny pot, dependent on you humans for survival, [[for every little thing I need?”]]

<<audio HELL play>> Tripping over yourself in your haste, you race for the greenhouse door. Cal, still extricating themself from the greenhouse wreckage, flails a leaf at you, which you just manage to duck. Reaching the door, your fumbling fingers take a few pulse-pounding seconds to open it and [[allow you to escape.->Chapter One End]]

You try to stammer out words, but Cal doesn’t care what you have to say. “Oh no you don’t. It’s my turn now. You don’t get to talk, mate. You don’t get to do anything unless I say you can! Now you get to know how it feels to be at someone else’s mercy! That’s what you get for trying to doll me up like I’m some toy you can just play with however you want. How would you like it if someone just stuck you with things without asking? Well you know what, chum? [[You’re about to find out!”]]

With surprising speed that belies their bulk, Cal lunges toward you, jabbing with its needles. You just barely manage to dodge out of the way, and they slam into the greenhouse wall, [[shattering the glass and crushing several smaller plants in the process->Chapter One End]].

“That’s great!” Grant cuts you off, his smile growing, though it doesn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. “So I see you’ve met Oleander. I’ve got a [[tip->G.Oleander.3]] I think might help you out with them.”

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio HELL play>> <<script>> Dialog.setup("GRANT'S GARDENING TIP"); Dialog.wiki("When properly saturated with ceramic, a plant can produce up to 17 milifarads."); Dialog.open(); <</script>> [[Umm.. okay.->G.Oleander.4]]

“Well, gotta get back to the store. Plenty of customers to make happy!” Grant winks, then walks away. Once again, you’re left with the plants, just as confused as before. Guess you should probably [[head back inside->greenhouse.UsedOleander]] and put your newly acquired knowledge to use.

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio greenhouse play>> <<set $oleanderDone to true>> Which plant do you investigate? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/All the plants.png" alt="The plants." class="center"/> </div> <<if $seymoreDone is false>>The flytrap-looking one: [[Dionaea muscipula->Seymore]] <<else>>The ever-freakish flytrap named Seymore: [[Dionaea muscipula->SeymoreSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $cactusDone is false>>The healthy looking cactus: [[Opuntia aciculata->Cactus]] <<else>>The ever-odd cactus named Cal: [[Opuntia aciculata->CactusSecondMeeting]] <</if>> The ever-flirty Oleander: [[Nerium oleander->OleanderSecondMeeting]] <<if $mimosaDone is false>>The small, almost twig/fern-like one: [[Mimosa pudica->Mimosa]] <<else>>The ever-emotional Mimosa: [[Mimosa pudica->MimosaSecondMeeting]] <</if>>

Head swimming with all the information you’ve just heard, you walk back towards the oleander. At least you have two new pieces of information. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> The oleander leans back casually as you approach. “Well that didn’t take long. Welcome back, sweetie.” Do you [[try to ignore the flirting]] or [[flirt back]]?

You smile politely, but try not to get distracted. You’re just here to take care of the plants. That’s all you’re required to do. Just have to focus on your new task. Do you [[grab the arsenic]] or [[go for the ceramic]]? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div>

You’re not letting this plant get the best of you. You grin back. “You know I can’t resist you.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> The oleander is certainly pleased with that response. “That I do.” Do you [[get the arsenic]] or [[find that ceramic]]?

You step up and scrounge around under the table, looking for the arsenic pellets mentioned before. Above your head you hear the oleander calling to you. “Hmmm. I knew you’d come through.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You shake your head. Just focus. [[Just focus.]]

Ignoring the plant’s calls, you immediately take to finding that ceramic. You sure as hey aren’t gonna be taking advice from a talking plant, particularly when arsenic is involved. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You duck under the table and look around to find.. [[Ceramic soil conditioner]]

You step forward and give a flirtatious smirk before going under the table. You quickly find the gloves and arsenic container, and [[turn away]] to get the supplies ready.

Ignoring the plant’s calls, you immediately take to finding that ceramic. You sure as hey aren’t gonna be taking advice from a talking plant, particularly when arsenic is involved. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_normal.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You duck under the table and look around to find.. [[Ceramic soil conditioner]]

You eventually find the carefully stored arsenic and a pair of gloves. As you pull out your supplies, you hear the oleander starting to hum to itself… another dark nursery rhyme. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You shudder and get the gloves and arsenic. As you approach, the oleander leans back comfortably. “Here I thought you the polite type. And yet so eager to [[get into my plants.]]”

… You pause. Shake your head. And start digging the soil. Just plant the arsenic pellet and go. [[Just plant the arsenic pellet and go.]]

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_sad.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> You hurriedly plant the pellet, cover the area with dirt again, take off the dirty -- in multiple meanings of the word -- gloves, and [[rush]] to put the pellets away.

<div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Oleander/spr_oleander_flirty.png" alt="Oleander." class="center"/> </div> The oleander seems pleased enough. “So quick to pull away. Shame, you’ve got some fine hands. But mmmm….” You presume the arsenic has been released, as they seem to sigh with relief. “That hit the [[spot]].”

Almost on cue, the oleander begins to grow -- and fast. Unbelievably fast. You scramble back as the branches grow more arm-like, and the bush itself becomes more… [[human]]?

Yes… definitely human.. But also so very…. …. [[Attractive]]?!

[[That can’t be good.->Chapter One End]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> …. Honestly, that’s [[the most normal thing you’ve seen so far.]]

You pull it out and immediately start applying it to the soil. “There, proper plant care. That should be healthier than freaking arsenic.” The oleander seems momentarily taken aback at the new concoction you’re adding to their pot, but seems to take pleasure in your care anyways. “Huh… not what I was expecting, but that stuff really makes my roots tingle.” It looks up to you. “[[In a very good way.]]”

Disgusted, you hurriedly put the conditioner away under the table. Above you,you hear some amused laughs and.. crackling. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. That’s not normal. [[That’s VERY not normal.]]

You scurry out from under the table to see the oleander is growing MUCH too fast. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You reach for your cell to call for help -- maybe Grant would know what to do?! -- but the phone glitches until its power cuts out completely. [[Not normal, and VERY not good.]]

You look up to the Oleander, who now stands taller than you, and has apparently been so caught up in their pleasant feelings they didn’t even notice your change in position. “Oh… Oh that feels so good, so much better than any ol’ arsenic… I feel ALIVE… I feel ELECTRIFIED... “ At this point, you notice the sparks flying between nearby leaves and flowers. (Which, for the record, are now bigger than you.) [[Ah.]] That all makes sense. Definitely.

<<audio HELL play>> “Oh the damage I could do… Oh the PAIN I could cause.. Poison is great, mind you. Always had a soft spot for poison. But THIS… This is something new entirely. I’ll have to experiment with this.” The oleander -- now as tall as the ceiling -- suddenly remembers your presence and bends over to you. “Hello sweetie. Boy, you sure know how to turn me on.” Sparks jump a little too close to your face, but at this point you’re too paralyzed by fear to move. “You’ve been so kind. [[Clearly I must return the sentiment.]]”

Without warning, the oleander strokes your arm with one of its leaves, sending a sharp jolt of electricity and unbearable pain through your body. You collapse, your body trying to recover from the electrical overload. As things start to go dark, you hear a genuine laugh of delight. “Sorry hon, if you can’t handle me at my best..” [[Everything goes black before you hear the end.]]

You wake up, arm throbbing and burning. [[What happened?]]

You suddenly remember everything and bolt upright -- much to your body’s disapproval. Around you, you see the greenhouse decimated, the electrical outlets all shot, and the oleander… [[gone.]]

Good thing your body doesn’t want to move, because with the realization of what you’ve done, [[you couldn’t even if you wanted to.]]

[[You’ve just created a monster.->Chapter One End]]

The oleander chuckles. “Hmm. Nothing like some mighty fine arse...” You turn and raise your eyebrow, amused. “-senic pellets.” You smirk, grab a pellet with your newly gloved hands, and saunter back over to the amused bush. “There’s more where it came from.” Another warm chuckle from the oleander. “[[I’m sure.]]”

You part the soil. “So just plant this here?” The bush seems to shrug teasingly. “The deeper the better.” You smile and start gently reaching through the dirt, trying to avoid hurting any of the roots. The last thing you need is to injure the plant in the middle of your [[power play]].

The oleander makes some rather… pleasurable noises. You smirk. You’re winning. But no time to fully entertain this strange shrub. You’ve got other plants to attend to -- and besides, better to [[quit while you’re ahead]].

You plant the pellet and start replacing the soil. The oleander notes your tease and leans against its pot. “Pulling out so soon?” You smile and start returning the supplies. “Sorry hon’, [[still got other duties to attend to.]]”

As you duck under the table to put the gloves and container away, you hear an amused chuckle. “Shame. You’ve got such nice hands too. But mmmm….” You hear a creak above you -- that’s not normal. You immediately start backing out from under the table, hearing above you a content sigh. “That was.. [[very nice]].”

You stand up quick and to find the oleander growing -- WAY too fast. And almost.. Starting to look.. Human? As the unexpected growth spurt starts to settle, you [[gulp in surprise.]]

Yes. Distinctly human. And distinctly... unhealthily…. [[attractive.->Chapter One End]]

You reach forward, and its leaves fold away in front of you! <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> [[“No please!”]]

You recoil in surprise at the small voice you just heard. “Oh geez, I’ve messed up haven’t I? Oh bother, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> Do you: Take a deep breath and try to [[calm]] this poor plant? [[Smack it]] to the side? Grab the nearest -- is that a flamethrower -- and [[threaten it]]?

After a quick inhale and exhale, you regain your composure. “Not at all, you didn’t mess anything up. I just didn’t mean to- er- startle you.” The small plant carefully unfolds a few leaves… “Oh.. Well I’m sorry for getting so easily startled then…I know I get especially jittery without my sugar.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> How do you reply? Do you: Inquire about the [[sugar]]? Ask what other [[care]] it needs? Reconsider that [[flamethrower->threaten it]]?

Out of instinct and - dare you say it - a tinge of disgust, you smack the talking plant across the way. The pot shatters and dirt litters the floor. The small plant has defensively curled in so tight that you can hardly hear the small cries, and make out what looks like.. [[Shivering]]? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

Upon raising the flamethrower, the plant only recoils further into a defensive curl. Its small voice cries in desperation. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “[[I’M SORRY DON’T HURT ME PLEASE.]]”

“Without your.. Sugar?” You try to be polite, but are noticeably confused. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The little plant replies in a timid, almost guilty voice. “Yes, I - er- like [[sugar around the rim of my pot. With a little mint on the side to top it off.]]” Suddenly, the plant curls inwards in a self-conscious manner. “It’s silly, I know. I really don’t deserve it. But it makes me happy when it happens, because it means someone actually cares about what I like.. Though I don’t know why anyone would.” You distinctly see it slump.

“Well.. so what do you need?” The small plant pauses, apparently processing what you just asked, and then… [[breaks into tears]]? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

Unsure of what to make of it, and feeling like this is a good time to step out, you give a polite, “Well, nice to meet you,” before returning to your [[gardenly duties->Grant Mimosa Tip]].

You let out a long sigh as you close the greenhouse door. You’ve been at this job for less than a day, and already it’s overwhelming. Talking plants? Why did no one think to warn you about that? They just expect you to take care of these plants like normal? [[That’s not right.->G.Mimosa.1]]

It distinctly sniffs. “That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever asked me!” Another sniff. “I really -- I don’t need that much, I m-mean, I try not to. But if you really want to know… I just love [[sugar around the rim of my pot, and a little mint garnish on the side!]]” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> A rather large sniff. “I mean you r-really don’t have to, I don’t want to be inconvenient, but if you get to.. I mean, it would be r-really really nice, and j-just..” The poor dear is hardly holding itself together, and just barely manages a “Th-thank you so m-much!!” before breaking down entirely.

Only after taking a couple steps do you process what just happened. You shake your head, mutter “A very kind little plant”, and carry on to your [[gardenly duties->Grant Mimosa Tip]].

A minute passes by, the adrenaline settles, and you come to the sudden realization -- your job is to take care of these plants. You’re gonna have to repot this freakish thing. You sigh in frustration, grab a pot, and start sweeping up your mess. When you near the Mimosa Pudica, you hear a very sharp yell of distress. You sigh, and - for god knows why - feel the need to explain yourself to the plant. “Shush. [[I’m putting you in a new pot.]]”

The plant, still tightly curled and shivering, continues to whimper but otherwise doesn’t protest as you place it into some new soil. As you lift this newly potted Mimosa to the its old spot on the shelf, you notice a small note. It must’ve been sitting under the old pot -- its worn from water damage. You squint and can barely make out the words: “[[Sugar ring. Mint garnish.]]”

Upon hoisting the flamethrower into position, you realize it must be a prototype -- surely an actually flamethrower is much heavier than this? But the plant doesn’t know this, and by god you want to know what’s going on here. “[[WHO ARE YOU?!]] WHAT ARE YOU?!”

([[You’ve never been particularly good at playing the “good cop.”]])

The startled plant coils tighter at your raised voice. “I don’t know! I’m just a plant!! I’m sorry!” It suddenly starts to [[sob]], overwhelmed by the whole situation.

… Clearly threatening this plant wasn’t necessarily the most productive choice. But now this plant is crying. (This plant is CRYING. Plants aren’t supposed to cry. How do you deal with a crying plant?!) But you’ve started this. [[Better finish it]]. Somehow.

“... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.” That’s not what you meant to say. But hey, it’s a [[crying, talking plant]]. What else do you ask it.

Unexpectedly, the plant bursts into the longest run on sentence you’ve ever heard. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “I really don’t try to ask too much I promise I mean like any other plant I’m supposed to have sun and water and soil and important things like that and I wish I didn’t need more -- I mean, I really don’t -- and [[sugar rings with a mint garnish]] are really frivolous and unnecessary, and really other plants deserve so much more love and attention than I do -- I promise I just try to be quiet and stay back; and I wish I didn’t need anything but occasionally I need some things so I’m sorry I wish I could just be out of the way and not bother anyone; I DON’T MEAN TO BE AN INCONVENIENCE I’M SORRY!”

You carefully set down your makeshift weapon and back away, feeling rather guilty and… sorry? For the plant? That you just.. Threatened?? You shake your head and get [[back to work->Grant Mimosa Tip]]. It’s been a weird day.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps. You look up to see Grant walking toward you, a genial smile on his face. He offers you a wave. “Hey there! Thought I’d check in, see how it’s going.” You look at him, a thousand questions racing through your mind. [[“Well, actually, it’s a--”->G.Mimosa.2]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> <<audio GRANT play>> “That’s great!” Grant cuts you off, his smile growing, though it doesn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. “So I see you’ve met Mimosa. I’ve got a [[tip->G.Mimosa.3]] I think might help you out with them.”

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio HELL play>> <<script>> Dialog.setup("GRANT'S GARDENING TIP"); Dialog.wiki("Like it or not, every plant has a Frankenstein's monster fetish. Leaving it on for them overnight triples growth rates."); Dialog.open(); <</script>> [[Umm.. okay.->G.Mimosa.4]]

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio greenhouse play>> <<set $mimosaDone to true>> Which plant do you investigate? <<if $seymoreDone is false>>The flytrap-looking one: [[Dionaea muscipula->Seymore]] <<else>>The ever-freakish flytrap named Seymore: [[Dionaea muscipula->SeymoreSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $cactusDone is false>>The healthy looking cactus: [[Opuntia aciculata->Cactus]] <<else>>The ever-odd cactus named Cal: [[Opuntia aciculata->CactusSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $oleanderDone is false>>The bright bush with pink flowers: [[Nerium oleander->Oleander]] <<else>>The ever-flirty Oleander: [[Nerium oleander->OleanderSecondMeeting]] <</if>> The ever-emotional Mimosa: [[Mimosa pudica->MimosaSecondMeeting]]

You return back to the Mimosa Pudica, a bit overwhelmed and, frankly, not knowing who or what to believe. The Mimosa is still a little shaky from their earlier sobs, but overall seems to have regained their composure. You hear a faint “H-hello again,” accompanied by a hardly noticeable wave. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> Well, time to take up your next assignment. Do you [[use the sugar]]? Or do you [[follow Grant’s tip]]?

Recalling something about a sugar ring and mint garnish, you look around Mimosa’s area. After a couple minutes of searching, crawling, and head-banging against the table (multiple times), you eventually find a [[small bag of sugar.]]

You shake your head. Grant knows this place better than anyone else. Whose word are you going to take -- his, or some talking bush? Besides, this small plant’s just had a meltdown… a movie will surely calm them down. And frankly, [[you could use a proper break]].

You gingerly sprinkle a small bit around the edges, until the small pot looks like a strange, makeshift margarita glass. Searching around, you find a mint plant and carefully pick a fallen leaf off the table next to it. You can’t help but notice the irony in the situation, but hey, little sugar-ring-and-mint-garnish is [[gonna get their mint garnish]].

With a gentle placement of the mint leaf, Mimosa Pudica settles back contently. “Ah, my goodness, this feels so lovely - thank you!” Smiling, you’re about to turn back to your work when you suddenly notice the tiny plant growing.. And not a little bit, but at a [[rather alarming rate]]!

[[Is it...]]

[[Starting to look...?]]

. . .. ... .... And.... [[attractive???->Chapter One End]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/Mimosa_human_sp.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

You find the dusty Frankenstein’s Monster VHS, roll out a thirty year old TV, set it up in front of Mimosa Pudica, close all the blinds, and [[leave the greenhouse]].

. .. [[...->ohdear]]

After a sufficient break, you walk in. The static of the ended VHS plays in the background. It’s rather dark, and surprisingly humid… you go to open everything up. To your utter surprise and near-heart-attack-shock, you find Mimosa Pudica has now grown taller and… larger.. than before, once again curled tight into a defensive ball. You hate to admit it, but what was formerly such a fragile little plant now.. well, frankly, scares you. As you circle around, you hear [[quiet sobs]].

“I- I should’ve known.” [[You see some leaves grow.]]

“I’ll never be enough.” [[Their branches seem to grow 5 inches at once]].

“.... I’m just like Frankenstein’s monster. No one will ever like me. No one will ever care about me. I don’t even have my Dr. Frankenstein anymore… even he’s abandoned me.” Mimosa Pudica, still curled in a tight ball, now almost reaches the ceiling. Out of the corner of your eye you notice the other plants curled up defensively, clearly frightened. You hear cracks -- the class ceiling is starting to break. Do you [[run for it]], or [[try to calm them down]]?

You bolt back to your senses. You’ve got to get out of here. [[NOW.]]

You finally jolt back to your senses, and try to reel in this.. this THING… before it hurts anyone. You start thinking of anything that’ll come to mind. “Listen, I know sometimes things hurt. [[I understand.]] I--”

You turn on your heel and make a break for it, stumbling toward the door. As you exit, you hear a bellowing shout, “Of course you run!!! YOU’RE JUST LIKE THE REST.” You barely make it out the door when you hear the sound of glass shattering and steel bars breaking. You turn around just in time to see the now giant Mimosa Pudica [[storming out of the greenhouse with thunderous footsteps]].

Frozen, you watch them disappear into the distance, before starting to process what you’ve done… [[Mi-monster Peril-ca is on the loose.->Chapter One End]]

The ceiling groans as the enlarged flora turns on you with a fire that freezes your chest in terror. “YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE LIKE YOU.THEY LISTEN TO YOU. THEY CARE ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS. YOUR DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS. DOES ANYONE ASK ME? NO. DO THEY CARE ABOUT ME? NO. AND THEY HAVE NO REASON TO. I SHOULD JUST LEAVE…” It falters for a moment, contemplating its latest words, before its anger boils up again and it bolts forward, three inches from your face. “[[DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND.]]”

WIth an ear-piercing sound of steel beams breaking and glass shattering, the Mimosa Pudica storms out of the greenhouse, too blinded by their own tears to realize the damage being done. You dive under a table for shelter, just as a large window pane falls and shatters right where you’d been standing. Thunderous crashes resonate through your chest as their large steps shake the ground, but slowly fade to nothing as the newly-refreshed monster [[fades into the distance.]]

Heart pounding, scrapes bleeding, and head dizzy, you get up and just barely process what you’ve done. [[Mi-monster Peril-ca is now on the loose.->Chapter One End]]

This plant is...planning a meal? Well that’s not strange at all. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymore_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> You don’t know if you should [[interrupt…]]

Yes. You should. “Hey there.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_neutral.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The plant’s weird muttering ceases abruptly. It sits still for a moment, jaws twitching. “[[Gah!]]”

You rear back as the flytrap’s mouth snaps shut. If you hadn’t moved, it would’ve closed right on your nose! What kind of villain tries to eat someone it just met? Rude. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_annoyed.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> Maybe this stupid plant doesn’t need water after all. Should you.. [[Return to the other plants->Find Seymore Tip]]? [[Do the right thing]]?

You take a deep breath, keeping wary eyes on the flytrap. You took this job, and that means you’re responsible for keeping the plants alive--all of them. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_neutral.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> So, lifting your watering can, you sprinkle some water on the plant from as far above as your arm can lift--no way you’re getting near its mouth again. There, that’s done. Time to [[get outta here.]]

You step back to leave. “Wait!” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_happy.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> You stop mid-step. First the plant tries to bite you, and now it wants to talk? Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. “Listen, I think we got off on the wrong leaf. Why don’t you come back over here, [[we can start over?]]”

Fine, you’ll give it a chance. You keep the watering can between the two of you as a barrier, though. “Are you gonna apologize for trying to eat me?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_happy.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The plant’s jaws open and shut pensively. “Yeah, of course. I’m reeeaaallll sorry about that. It’s just instinct, you know? Nothing personal. But hey, now you know you’ve got pretty fast reflexes. So really, I was doing you a favor. You should be thanking me.” [[What?]]

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You are one twisted little plant.” The flytrap spasms, the movement almost looking like a shrug. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_annoyed.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “I am who I am. Can’t help my urges.” “You could just not bite me.” “...Maybe.” You’ve never known a plant to be shifty, but this one definitely is. Still, it is one of your charges… You should probably [[ask what it needs]].

Okay, look, we’ve got to work this out. What do you need?” The flytrap straightens up, it’s jaws opening and closing rapidly. “Now we’re talking. So, you figured out the water thing on your own--good job, by the way--and water’s great and all, but you got any meat on you?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_happy.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> Meat? It’s a flytrap, not a meattrap. You’re no expert, but you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t go around feeding plants actual animal meat. Do you.. [[Let it down easy]]? [[Hit it with the harsh truth]]?

“Listen...I want to help you out, but I really don’t think I can give you what you want. I just don’t think your little plant body would be able to handle it. But, I mean...I can see about letting some flies loose in here for you. Will that work?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_neutral.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The flytrap seems to consider your offer. You hear muttering, too low to make out, and it nods to itself several times. Finally, [[it angles itself back up at you.]]

“Yeah, no, I’m not doing that. You. Are. A. Plant. A flytrap. No way I’m busting my butt cooking a meal for you. You can have water and flies [[like every other flytrap]].” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_annoyed.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

“I can work with that. But also, if you’re feeling generous, maybe you could brush my cilia too? They get tangled sometimes, you know?” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_happy.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> That’s a strange request, but honestly, given that you’re talking to a plant that’s talking back, this might as well happen. You’re not gonna offer this plant any promises just yet, though. It needs to prove it can be trusted first. In the meantime, you decide it's best to [[return to your duties->Grant Seymore Tip]]

The flytrap curls away from you as though you’ve slapped it. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_annoyed.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “Geez, okay. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Well, if you’re gonna be a jerk about the meat, the least you could do is [[brush my cilia.]] That’s can’t be too much to ask, oh grumpy human overlord.”

The plants wants you to...groom it? Riiiight. Because that’s what you signed up to do when you took this job. Think it’s about time you got back to the [[more important parts of your job.->Grant Seymore Tip]]

“That’s great!” Grant cuts you off, his smile growing, though it doesn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. “So I see you’ve met Seymore, our venus flytrap. I’ve got a [[tip->G.Seymore.3]] I think might help you out with them.”

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio HELL play>> <<script>> Dialog.setup("GRANT'S GARDENING TIP"); Dialog.wiki("Set your roses on fire."); Dialog.open(); <</script>> [[Umm.. okay.->G.Seymore.4]]

<<audio GRANT stop>> <<audio greenhouse play>> <<set $seymoreDone to true>> Which plant do you investigate? The ever-freakish flytrap named Seymore: [[Dionaea muscipula->SeymoreSecondMeeting]] <<if $cactusDone is false>>The healthy looking cactus: [[Opuntia aciculata->Cactus]] <<else>>The ever-odd cactus named Cal: [[Opuntia aciculata->CactusSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $oleanderDone is false>>The bright bush with pink flowers: [[Nerium oleander->Oleander]] <<else>>The ever-flirty Oleander: [[Nerium oleander->OleanderSecondMeeting]] <</if>> <<if $mimosaDone is false>>The small, almost twig/fern-like one: [[Mimosa pudica->Mimosa]] <<else>>The ever-emotional Mimosa: [[Mimosa pudica->MimosaSecondMeeting]] <</if>>

You return to the greenhouse, ready to work things out with Seymore. You are not about to let this tiny carnivore scare you. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymour_happy.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> How do you want to play this, though? You could [[brush their cilia like they asked you to]], or you could listen to Grant and [[set your roses on fire]]?

You like Grant, but burning flowers seems a bit extreme. Grant mentioned a flamethrower? Why would a gardener even have one of those? That’s just [[too much]] for you to deal with right now.

Grant’s suggestion is weird, but he seems like a pretty cool guy. And you’re not about to do Seymore any favors after they tried to bite you. Besides, if the little bugger likes violence, [[arson should be right up their alley, right?]]

So, you approach Seymore and offer them a small smile. “Hi.” The plant closes its jaws, then bends them in a way you didn’t think Venus flytraps could bend. It’s kinda weird, but you can clearly see that they’re trying for a smile of their own. “Hi yourself. You reconsider your stance on the whole ‘no meat’ thing, yet? Because I’ve been thinking of some recipes, and I’m telling you, you and me could make some great food together...for me. All for me. Just so we’re clear. [[I don’t share.”]]

Okay, so they’re still being difficult. Fine. You can deal with that. You cross your arms, assuming a firm stance. No plant is gonna tell you what to do. “No, I’m not getting you meat. But I will brush your cilia…[[if I can just find a brush…]]”

You search high, you search low, but you can’t seem to find a brush. Eventually, you turn to Seymore. As you approach the plant, you hear them muttering to themself again. “...All I ask for is a little meat. Is that too much? I don’t think so. You try eating nothing but flies, see how you feel. Not like that would get old or anything. And I have all kinds of recipes in mind, too...but noooo, just gotta stifle my [[creative genius…”]]

“Okay, so where’s this brush?” Seymore stiffens as you speak, their mouth set in a hard line as they turn to you. “It’s on a shelf over by the door,” they mutter, still seeming pretty put-out.” Whatever; they’ll get over it. You finally retrieve the brush, and come back to Seymore. “Well, if I’m doing this, let’s get it [[over with.]]”

Without speaking, Seymore opens their mouth and presents their cilia. The little hairs vibrate in anticipation of a good brushing. You oblige them, being careful not to let your fingers get any closer to the inside of Seymore’s mouth than they have to. Gently, you run the brush through the cilia. As you keep brushing, [[Seymore shivers.]]

<<audio greenhouse stop>> “Yeah, that’s just what I needed. Brushed cilia are good cilia, that’s what I always say. I am gonna trap so many flies with these. Flymageddon, here I come.” Honestly, it’s a little creepy how excited Seymore seems to get about the thought of fly genocide. You’ve just taken a step back to get away from the would-be serial killer, when suddenly [[Seymore starts to grow!]]

<<audio HELL play>> Their stalk shoots up, and their leaves swell at an alarming rate. You back away as Seymore outgrows their pot and keeps growing. Gradually, their structure shifts and changes, and a new shape starts to form. You start seeing recognizable shapes. Are those… [[arms? And legs?]]

<<audio main play>> Seymore is definitely still a venus flytrap, but they’re not like any venus flytrap you’ve ever seen. They’re...human. And the more you look at them, [[the more attractive they become.]]

[[That can’t be healthy...->Chapter One End]]

You look around for something to start a fire with and...oh sweet lord, is that a flamethrower? Why... why would anyone even have that? And here, around plants! That's asking for disaster. But, it is also super convenient for the task at hand. [[Best get to the burning.]] Sooner you do it, sooner you can get back to your more important duties.

The roses sit directly opposite Seymore’s table, several plants intertwining as they grow from pots placed side by side. If you’re careful, you should be able to burn them without catching the rest of the greenhouse on fire. You strike a match and carefully hold it against one of the roses. The dry leaves catch quickly, and by the time you blow out the match, the roses are ablaze, burning quickly. There, [[that should make Seymore happy]], right?

You turn around to look at Seymore, and see them rigid in their pot, turned toward the roses. "[[Yesssss. Yesssss.]]"

Their voice rises in volume the longer they stare at the roses. Seems like this is doing the trick. [[“YEEESSSSSSS!”]]

Suddenly, Seymore starts to grow--fast. They burst from their pot, and keep going. Soon their mouth is big enough to swallow your entire head--and they just keep growing. In seconds they tower over you, their mouth pressing against the roof of the greenhouse. [[They stare down at you.]]

“OH, THIS IS GOOD! LOOK AT ME. I’m so big now, nothing can stop me from getting what I want. I want MEAT, and I’m gonna get it.” They turn to look through one wall of the greenhouse, towards the town in the distance. “Think I’ll start there. I’m free, and you know what? [[I’m gonna paint the town red.]]"

Rearing their mouth back, they slam it into the wall, which shatters instantly. As they step over the glass and outside, they begin to chuckle. With every step, the laughter grows louder in volume and higher in pitch. Seymore stomps toward the town, [[leaving their wake only broken glass and the hideous shriek of their manic laughter--->Chapter One End]]

By the end the small thing is hyperventilating and barely understandable among heavy sobs. A couple seconds pass and the poor plant can hardly contain its breakdown. You’re not even sure if it’s still aware of your presence. You lower the flamethrower prototype and, feeling like you’re intruding, have the sudden urge to step out. “Er… THANK YOU. [[YOU’VE BEEN MOST COMPLIANT.]]”

Confused and thoroughly agitated by the whole situation, you place the plant -- perhaps a bit harshly, as you hear a small, unintentional yelp -- back in its spot and storm back to your [[gardenly duties->Grant Mimosa Tip]].

You smile politely and reach to give the plant a comforting pat, before remembering their sensitivity. You pat the pot instead. After giving a reassuring “My pleasure”, you turn away to let the little sweetheart [[calm down a bit.]] <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div>

Your heart goes out to this plant, and you try to comfort it. “You’re a lovely personality, and I- I find it rather sweet that you like your sugar.” <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_normal.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> The dear Mimosa pudica raises its head. “You… you really think so?” You nod. “That… [[That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me!]]"

As you leave, you see a small note on the ground near the cactus. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Cal/spr_cal_flex.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> "Appreciates backrubs." Hmph. You're sure it does. [[Stupid cactus.->Grant Cactus Tip]]

As you turn to leave, you see a dirty index card on the floor. "Enjoys cilia brushing." Heh. A pampered flytrap. [[As if.->Grant Seymore Tip]]

<<set $townname to "Shellville">> You ignore the sign and [[continue on->Onward!]]. You know where you are anyways.

Grant turns to you and hands you some keys. "There ya go. Those should get you wherever you need to go. Make sure you remember to lock up the greenhouse when you’re done for the day. Don’t want anything getting in…or out." He smiles teasingly. "Well, I’ll leave you to get settled in. $sciencename said they left a note for you inside that should explain what they need you to do. If you need anything, swing by the store. I’d be happy to share my gardening expertise with a 'budding' enthusiast. Ha!" He chuckles to himself. "In fact, why don't I help you out? As a welcome gift, here's one tip free of charge:" [[TIP?->TIP]]

You walk up to the Venus flytrap, leaning down to peer at it. As you get close, you hear something. It sounds like whispering. You lean in even closer, your nose nearly touching the plant. <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Seymore/spr_seymore_3.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> “...Steak. Medium rare steak. Or roast chicken. Or bacon. Ooh yeah. Mmmm, bacon. Bacon wrapped around a medium rare steak, [[stuffed into a roast chicken.]]”

The tiny flora suddenly starts crying, out of what appears to be happiness. You.. find yourself speechless, but muster a simple, “Well, of course.” Goodness, who’s been taking care of this poor creature? <div class="container"> <img src="ASSETS/Mimosa/spr_mimosa_sad.png" alt="The array of plants." class="center"/> </div> As the little plant continues to weep with joy, you suddenly feel a little uncomfortable. [[This plant is crying.]] But not bad crying?

<<cacheaudio "main" "MUSIC/Plants Vs. Zombies Zen Garden.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "GRANT" "MUSIC/Harvest Moon Friends Of Mineral Town.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "greenhouse" "MUSIC/Homestuck Frog Forager.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "bus" "MUSIC/Bus.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "punch" "MUSIC/Punch.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "HELL" "MUSIC/Black Sun - Hymn To Lucifer.mp3">>

…… [[human??]]